Okay, Friends. With so much talk on so many levels about Canadian Immigration and Refugee issues, and because there’s a reason we call it the ‘Dead of Winter’, I have decided that I will push for the following to become one of Canada’s Priority Criteria for Citizenship. Please feel free to share with our like-minded friends.
“As a Prospective Canadian Citizen, preferential status will hereby be given you should 
you also bring with you some cultural tradition that involves, or could be expanded upon to involve, some sort of unique and new celebratory practice. Traditions that encourage gathering of people for mutually enjoyable activities are preferable. Those that involve new culinary treats, loud music, some kind of competition, and publicly acceptable physical exertions such as dance or sport are considered more desirable. Any that provide the opportunity to drink beer will be given priority treatment.
“Should you also contribute an event-type tradition that has the potential of becoming a Holiday Monday, you will be required to immigrate all of your friends and family as well, providing the instruction and support necessary in giving us all yet one more reason to drink beer*.
“For more information, click http://www.cic.gc.ca
“Note: St. Patrick’s Day, Cinqo de Mayo, Victoria Day**, St. Jean de Bapstiste***, and Oktoberfest**** have already been fully integrated into Canadian Culture.
* – the few Canadians who don’t drink beer tend to like their friends better when they do
** – denotes Holiday Monday Exceptional Status
*** – a Quebec thing, but definitely catching on…
**** – not a Holiday Monday, but extra points for being a week-long affair”
escaped convictions 